1. Whenever I hit my head really hard, I pretend as hard as I can that it killed brain cells that were only getting in the way and I'll be smarter from now on.
2. Blue Powerade reminds me of antifreeze. I've never imbibed antifreeze, though.
3. I sometimes stare at the microwave, hoping to get super-powers.
4. I stare at shiny things when I'm tired.
5. I secretly suspect that all scientists since the 1960s have been frauds.
6. I always listen to "Drunken Master" by the Pietasters before a college exam. It probably helps me more than studying would. If I ever studied.
7. I still daydream about space travel.
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