An explanation, for those of you who live in caves.
Mario is an Italian-Japanese plumber. He's about two feet high and has a twin brother named Luigi. They have no last name. Despite his extreme shortness, Mario uses the extremely effective fighting technique of jumping 20 feet in the air and landing on the heads of his enemies. Mario is frequently seen rescuing princesses from a gigantic, spiky turtle, which explains why he won't return your calls when your pipes are broken and your basement is flooding.
Mario is an Italian-Japanese plumber. He's about two feet high and has a twin brother named Luigi. They have no last name. Despite his extreme shortness, Mario uses the extremely effective fighting technique of jumping 20 feet in the air and landing on the heads of his enemies. Mario is frequently seen rescuing princesses from a gigantic, spiky turtle, which explains why he won't return your calls when your pipes are broken and your basement is flooding.
What I don't understand is how the job of princess rescue unfailingly falls to a plumber. Granted, his familiarity with pipes might grant him some small advantage when he needs to use them to access the underground, but couldn't Ethan Hunt from Mission Impossible do the same thing? I imagine the hero selection process looks something like this:
Toadstool: Sire! We've just received a ransom note! Your daughter, the princess, whom you love dearly, had been kidnapped by a spiky, fire breathing gigantic turtle!
King: Alackaday! Sir Mordeco, black knight of destruction! I need you to fetch the yellow pages. This is a job for someone in overalls!
Though he can break bricks with his head, Mario dies instantly if touched by a turtle. Turtle shells, those are fine. He can pick those up with his bare hands all day. If any other part of a turtle touches any other part of his body, though, immediately Mario's head swells up like he's experiencing some sort of allergic reaction and he falls down dead.
In another popular NES title, Mario played the role of a doctor, again apparently to his professed occupation of plumber.
Receptionist: I'm sorry, Doctor Henderson is at his daughter's dance recital, but he has a very capable colleague taking his appointments.
Me: Really? Who is it?
Mario: IT'S-A ME! M-aaaaaaaaaaario!
Me: What? Weren't you at my house last week, fixing my toilet?
Mario: Is-a no worry. I wash-a my hands real-a good. Now whatsa you problem?
Me: Buh... Okay. Well, I have this lump on my elbow. It's turned greenish-purple.
Mario: Oh, I see this-a alla the time. Here, I'm-a-gonna throw these capsules atta you arm. You try to line-a them up, so you get three greens on toppa the green, and-a three purples on toppa the purple. Then it-a disappear like magic.
Me: Ow! What? Can I reschedule?
Though he can break bricks with his head, Mario dies instantly if touched by a turtle. Turtle shells, those are fine. He can pick those up with his bare hands all day. If any other part of a turtle touches any other part of his body, though, immediately Mario's head swells up like he's experiencing some sort of allergic reaction and he falls down dead.
In another popular NES title, Mario played the role of a doctor, again apparently to his professed occupation of plumber.
Receptionist: I'm sorry, Doctor Henderson is at his daughter's dance recital, but he has a very capable colleague taking his appointments.
Me: Really? Who is it?
Mario: IT'S-A ME! M-aaaaaaaaaaario!
Me: What? Weren't you at my house last week, fixing my toilet?
Mario: Is-a no worry. I wash-a my hands real-a good. Now whatsa you problem?
Me: Buh... Okay. Well, I have this lump on my elbow. It's turned greenish-purple.
Mario: Oh, I see this-a alla the time. Here, I'm-a-gonna throw these capsules atta you arm. You try to line-a them up, so you get three greens on toppa the green, and-a three purples on toppa the purple. Then it-a disappear like magic.
Me: Ow! What? Can I reschedule?
